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What Your HR Person Won’t Tell You About ...

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What Your HR Person Won’t Tell You About Being Fired

Condensed from Reader’s Digest Magazine, April 2011

HR pros reveal how to avoid getting a pink slip, how to know when it’s coming, and what to do when you’re shown the door.

Plus: 10 Things Never to Say to Someone Who Loses Their Job

1. “If there was someone we no longer wanted at the company, we’d give him all the worst assignments on impossible deadlines, set him up to fail, and document that. After a few months, we could safely terminate him.” –Cynthia Shapiro, former human resources executive and author of Corporate Confidential: 50 Secrets Your Company Doesn’t Want You to Know

2. “If we ask you to travel for your job or attend a conference, it’s not really a question. Say no, and it can be career-ending.” –Laurie Ruettimann, HR consultant and speaker in Raleigh, North Carolina

3. “If you’re put on a performance-improvement plan, you’re cooked. I might look you in the eye and say we’re going to do everything possible to make this work, but that’s just total BS.” –HR director at financial services firm

4. “I once had to fire someone with four kids right before Christmas. When he asked me why, I couldn’t tell him it was because he said something in an all-company meeting that the CEO took as in insult.” –Cynthia Shapiro

5. “If you’re a high-level employee and they put you on a special assignment and take away other responsibilities so you can focus on that ‘special assignment,’ start fixing up your résumé, because you’re on your way out the door.” –Suzanne Lucas, a former HR executive and the Evil HR Lady on bnet.com

6. “When you get laid off, you’ll probably get a separation agreement in which you agree not to sue. That document is what allows you to negotiate, so before you sign it, ask for more severance money, ask for more COBRA, something. The worst thing they can do is say no.” –Cynthia Shapiro

7. “Always apply for unemployment, because the state makes the decision, not the company, and often the company won’t bother to fight it.” –Suzanne Lucas

8. “The worst feeling in the world? Going into the ladies’ room and seeing nine people you know who won’t have a job in a week and having to act normal.” –HR professional at a midsize firm in North Carolina


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What HR Won’t Tell You About Your Résumé

Condensed from Reader’s Digest Magazine, April 2011

Use key words—and not colored paper—plus other résumé tips from potential employers.

1. “Once you’re unemployed more than six months, you’re considered pretty much unemployable. We assume that other people have already passed you over, so we don’t want anything to do with you.” –Cynthia Shapiro, former human resources executive and author of Corporate Confidential: 50 Secrets Your Company Doesn’t Want You to Know

2. “When it comes to getting a job, who you know really does matter. No matter how nice your résumé is or how great your experience may be, it’s all about connections.” –HR director at a health-care facility

3. “If you’re trying to get a job at a specific company, often the best thing to do is to avoid HR entirely. Find someone at the company you know, or go straight to the hiring manager.” –Shauna Moerke, an HR administrator in Alabama who blogs at hrminion.com

4. “People assume someone’s reading their cover letter. I haven’t read one in 11 years.” –HR director at a financial services firm

5. “We will judge you based on your e-mail address. Especially if it’s something inappropriate like kinkyboots101@hotmail.com or johnnylikestodrink@gmail.com.” –Rich DeMatteo, a recruiting consultant in Philadelphia

6. “If you’re in your 50s or 60s, don’t put the year you graduated on your résumé.” –HR professional at a midsize firm in North Carolina

7. “There’s a myth out there that a résumé has to be one page. So people send their résumé in a two-point font. Nobody is going to read that.” –HR director at a financial services firm

8. “I always read résumés from the bottom up. And I have no problem with a two-page résumé, but three pages is pushing it.” –Sharlyn Lauby, HR consultant in Fort Lauderdale, Florida

9. “Most of us use applicant-tracking systems that scan résumés for key words. The secret to getting your résumé through the system is to pull key words directly from the job description and put them on. The more matches you have, the more likely your résumé will get picked and actually seen by a real person.” –Chris Ferdinandi, HR professional in the Boston area

10. “Résumés don’t need color to stand out. When I see a little color, I smirk. And when I see a ton of color, I cringe. And walking in and dropping off your resume is no longer seen as a good thing. It’s actually a little creepy.” –Rich DeMatteo


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What HR People Won’t Tell You About the Job Interview

Condensed from Reader's Digest Magazine, April 2011

Human resource pros tell you what to do—and what not to do—when meeting to discuss an employment opportunity.

Plus: What Does Your Office Say About Your Work Style?

1. “It’s amazing when people come in for an interview and say, ‘Can you tell me about your business?’ Seriously, people. There’s an Internet. Look it up.” –HR professional in New York City

2. “A lot of managers don’t want to hire people with young kids, and they use all sorts of tricks to find that out, illegally. One woman kept a picture of two really cute children on her desk even though she didn’t have children [hoping job candidates would ask about them]. Another guy used to walk people out to their car to see whether they had car seats.” –Cynthia Shapiro, former human resources executive and author of Corporate Confidential: 50 Secrets Your Company Doesn’t Want You to Know

3. “Is it harder to get the job if you’re fat? Absolutely. Like George Clooney’s character said in Up in the Air, ‘I stereotype. It’s faster.’” –Suzanne Lucas, a former HR executive and the Evil HR Lady on bnet.com

4. “I once had a hiring manager who refused to hire someone because the job required her to be on call one weekend a month and she had talked in the interview about how much she goes to church. Another candidate didn’t get hired because the manager was worried that the car he drove wasn’t nice enough.” –HR professional at a midsize firm in North Carolina

5. “Don’t just silence your phone for the interview. Turn it all the way off.” –Sharlyn Lauby, HR consultant in Fort Lauderdale, Florida

6. “If you’ve got a weak handshake, I make a note of it.” –HR manager at a medical-equipment sales firm

7. “If you’re a candidate and the hiring manager spends 45 minutes talking about himself, the company or his Harley, let him. He’s going to come out of the interview saying you’re a great candidate.” –Kris Dunn, chief human resources officer at Atlanta-based Kinetix, who blogs at hrcapitalist.com

8. “Make sure you’re nice to everyone, especially the admin person at the front desk. If you’re not, we’ll hear about it.” –Michael Slade, HR director at Eric Mower and Associates, a marketing communications agency

9. “We do understand that sometimes your cat really is sick, or maybe you really did have stomach problems the morning of the interview. But we probably aren’t going to believe you.” –Rich DeMatteo, a recruiting consultant in Philadelphia

10. “Never tell us you were fired from a job. Your résumé will automatically go into the trash. In 90 percent of the cases, depending on the reference immunity laws in your state and your former company’s policy, we have no way of finding out.” –Cynthia Shapiro

11. “Know how to pronounce my name, even if you have to call and ask the receptionist before you come in.” –Senior HR executive in New York City

12. “One time I said to a candidate, ‘Tell me a little bit about yourself.’ An hour and a half later, I was afraid to ask question No. 2.” –Sharlyn Lauby

13. “How soon should you send a thank-you note? The next day seems a little desperate. Wait a week, and I’ve probably interviewed a bunch of other people and you can remind me again how great you are.” –Cynthia Shapiro

14. “When it comes to getting a job, persistence does not pay off. Checking in once or twice is fine. But if you call and call and call, you’re not going to get the job, because you’re annoying.” –HR manager at a medical-equipment sales firm

15. “Sometimes we’ll tell you we ended up hiring someone internally—even if we didn’t—just to get you off our back.” HR representative at a Fortune 500 financial-services firm

16. “If your former supervisor hated you, don’t give me his direct line for a reference. Instead, give me the number to HR. Most of us will give out only the dates of your employment and what your title was.” –HR professional at a midsize firm in North Carolina

17. “Yes, we do look at your credit as part of our background check. And if you’ve got a bankruptcy or if your credit score is below 650, you’ll have a hard time getting a job. [But] background checks are expensive. Sometimes we bluff, get you to fill out the form, and don’t even run it.” –Cynthia Shapiro


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What HR People Won’t Tell You About Salaries and Raises

If you’re negotiating for more money—either with a potential employer or your current boss—keep these expert tips in mind.

1. “There’s one website that drives all HR people crazy: salary.com. It supposedly lists average salaries for different industries, but if you look up any job, the salary it gives you always seems to be $10,000 to $20,000 higher than it actually is. That just makes people mad.” –HR director at a public relations agency

2. “On salary, some companies try to lock you in early. At the first interview, they’ll tell me to say, ‘The budget for this position is 40K to 45K. Is that acceptable to you?’ If the candidate accepts, they’ll know they’ve got him or her stuck in that little area.” –Ben Eubanks, HR professional in Alabama

3. “You think you’re all wonderful and deserve a higher salary, but here in HR, we know the truth. And the truth is, a lot of you aren’t very good at your jobs, and you’re definitely not as good as you think you are.” –HR professional at a midsize firm in North Carolina

4. “Be careful if a headhunter is negotiating for you. You may want extra time off and be willing to sacrifice salary, but he is negotiating hardest for what hits his commission.” –HR professional in New York City

5. “I once hired someone, and her mother didn’t think the salary we were offering was high enough, so she called me to negotiate. There are two problems with that: 1) I can’t negotiate with someone who’s not you. 2) It’s your mother. Seriously, I was like, ‘Did that woman’s mother just call me, or was that my imagination?’ I immediately withdrew the offer.” –HR professional in New York City

 

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